Rough and Emotional Day

Today was a very rough and emotional day, and as you may well know, the two never go well together. NEVER. I have had so many breakdowns today, my head and eyes hurt from crying so much.

I gave my two week notice last week (really, a 3 week notice) and everything was going fine. People were saying how much they were going to miss me, but yet knew my new job was a great opportunity for me. Then this week, everything changed. They are resentful. They are angry. They are hurting me on the inside.

I was really doing fine until last night, when the actions of others had finally gotten to me. The blatant ignorance of me in the room, like I don't even exist; the hurtful words. For 8 years I have given my life to my office. Every part of my being has been put into that office. I have bended over backwards for people and things in my office. And of all the sudden, they don't care. They don't care that I even work there anymore. They don't care that after all these years, I am leaving.

So, that's what started the crying spells today. I had thought about it so much that all I could do was resent these people. And, I'm not the resenting type of person. I am usually full of love and compassion; acceptance and forgiveness.

Then as I was driving home tonight, it hit me. How does our Lord feel when we turn our backs on Him? When we don't care what He thinks or what He says? It hurts Him. It hurts Him deeply. But, oh how He loves us so! He still loves us! Despite everything bad we can do in our lives, He still forgives us, and washes away ALL of those sins when we ask Him to.

I am determined that tomorrow will be a better day. A day that I can be forgiving to others. A day that I will have a serving heart. A day that I will be eager to serve others because I am willing...not just because it's my job. A day that I will care for those around me. A day that I will love them and shower them with kindness, compassion, acceptance and forgiveness. Another day that I let His light shine through me. Another day in the office that I will say good-bye to in a week...