A "Used" Friend

Exactly a year ago, I wrote about a Meltdown. I mentioned something about a friend that I was going to lose because of some things going on. Well, if you haven't already figured it out in the first few sentences of this post, I never told my friend about the problems I had with them and I've lived a year in grief, all while pulling this person along with me.

Have you ever felt like a friend of yours was using you? As in, not really your friend, but I'll be your friend because of who you are (the position you hold), how gullible you are (because you're honestly too sweet to exactly know what I'm doing to you), etc? After numerous events that have occurred over the past few months, I have come to the conclusion that this person may have not been my friend afterall.

Over and over again, time and events have gone through my head, and each time I realize this person had been using me. Using me to get what they wanted. Using me to get ahead. And it hurts. It hurts to think that this person may have not been my friend afterall. My heart aches. I hurt. My eyes hurt from the tears I have cried over this friend. How can this person have done this to me?

But you know what - the Lord was showing me a year ago that this person was probably not who they said they were, but I failed to listen to Him. I failed to do what I said I was going to do. So in the end, it is my fault. I disobeyed.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NIV) says...To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

So while I may be hurt over this friend of mine, His grace is sufficient for me - for when I am weak, then I am strong. But only by His grace am I strong. I pray that as I deal with this change ahead of me, I find enough grace in Him. My feelings may be hurt and I may be losing a dear friend of mine, but maybe it was the Lord's plan for me all along. I just have to walk in faith and know that I am doing what He told me to do.