Reflections

I'm sitting here on a Friday night, having just watched "The Help" (which is an excellent movie, by the way) and now I'm eating ice cream with strawberries, blueberries and raspberries while wearing flannel pj's, a sweatshirt and gloves because I'm cold.  I've been housesitting this week and she likes to keep it extra cold in the house, which means extra layers of clothes for me, and I'm sure the ice cream is not helping!  But the ice cream is helping this awful sore throat I've had for a few weeks now.  Hence the reason I am home on this Friday night.

I've had lots of time to reflect today about this past year.  Lots of changes occurred.  Lots of hurt happened.  I said goodbye to a dear friend and that was one of the hardest things I've had to do.  But, I also know I have become such a better person because of it.  I miss this friend, but it's best that we parted ways and went in separate directions.  I talk to this friend occasionally now but it's not the same.  And I'm okay with that.

My walk with the Lord has grown tremendously.  And, I know He's not done with me yet.  There are so many more things to learn about the Lord and what is in His Word.  My church pastor has preached on Matthew 5 and 6 the majority of this year and it's amazing all the things I have learned just in those 2 chapters alone!

My church family is wonderful.  Yes, I attend church with a majority of the members over 60 years of age, but they are built-in grandparents and great-grandparents.  They have walked roads that I have yet to walk.  They share their faith freely and abundantly.  They hug me and love on me.

While I did not attend a funeral this year, I have mourned many times.  I mourned my friend who passed away last December.  I mourned a few friendships that I had to let go of.  I mourned over bad decisions that were made.

I've mourned for myself.  I've cried many tears and asked God many, many times why He hasn't sent the one for me yet.  People tell me all the time to enjoy my singlehood.  To travel.  To spend time with friends.  To live my life freely.  But yet I miss my companion....my best friend.  The person who is my soulmate.  The person I love so dearly and wish to have just one fight with.  The one who will complete me.  Is that too much to ask?  I'll be turning 35 here in a few weeks.  How much longer will I have to wait?  Only the Lord knows that answer.  And yes, I'd rather wait for the one He sends to me and not settle.  There is too much unhappiness in settling.

So while I enter a new year...and while I continue to wait...I reflect on the good things in my life.  My loving parents, adorable nephews, amazing friends and family, and my good health.  There is no complaining here...life is good (right now).  I'll continue to live my life in the way that He wants me to live it.

Happy New Year, my friends.  May you be blessed abundantly this next year.