For months now, I have been struggling with things, people, circumstances in my life that I would just all soon forget about and move on with my life. But, that hasn’t happened. In fact, as time went on, the more struggles I had, and the decision I needed to make became more and more apparent to me.
Has the Lord ever told you to do something, but in your heart of hearts, you didn’t want to do it? No matter if the outcome was good or bad – would you do it? The Lord has been tugging at my heart for quite some time and unfortunately, I have been ignoring Him and the plan He has for my life.
That plan has been hard to come by. You see, I knew He wanted me to get out of debt, but at what lengths would I have to go to do that? And, as I look back on my "prayer list" for my future husband, one of the things I wanted to accomplish before I got married was to be out of debt – completely and wholly.
Back in March or April, Dave Ramsey came and spoke at LifeChurch.tv for about 3 weeks, and I was able to attend each week. There were some things he said about debt that have stuck with me and I’ve been praying ever since on what I should do. You see, my car is paid off – but that’s it. I have a house payment, insurance, utilities, credit cards, etc that just weigh me down and weigh my debt down. How am I going to get out of this debt? Sell my house? Yeah right... I LOVE my house and would do anything to keep it! But, when the bulk of my salary is going to a house payment, insurance and utilities, it seems its best that I no longer have a house. So...
I did the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do my entire life. I had to swallow my pride and ask my parents to move back home. Of course, they have welcomed me back with open arms because they know I have a purpose in all of this – and it is a good purpose – because debt is not a good thing.
I have put my house on the market. Wow. It’s hard for me to even write it. In fact, I haven’t been able to say it much because in my heart, it hurts so bad to say goodbye to my first home and really, my independence. But, as much as it hurts, I know I am doing the right thing. For the first time in a long time, I feel a peace about my decision and have actually been sleeping at night. I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
There have been a few close friends that I have told of my decision, and of course, each time I have broke out crying. It’s just been so hard and so emotional on me. But, everyone has been so encouraging. And, it’s nice to know that I am not the only one weighed down by the burden of debt. If all goes well, I will be completely out of debt in less than a year, then I’ll be back out looking for a new house and hopefully buy a new car debt free. I am really looking forward to this time next year – no more burdens!
Don’t get me wrong – I am still struggling with my decision everyday. Some days are better than others, but eventually, I still cry at least once a day when I think about it. But, the Lord gives me numerous verses that give me hope – something to look forward to!
Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans WILL succeed.
Proverbs 16:9
In [her] heart a [woman] plans [her] course, but the Lord determines [her] steps.
Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a [woman’s] heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save! He will take great delight in you; He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over you with singing!
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future.
As I look back on the changes that have occurred in my life, I can think of nothing but being blessed. And, I will continue to be blessed throughout this process. If you would, please pray for me. Pray that I will have a peace that passes all understanding. Pray that I will be comforted during this time of change and uncertainty. Pray that the Lord will be blessed through my circumstances. Pray that others will be blessed by my testimony. And most of all, pray that the Lord will send a buyer for my house and it will be just as perfect for them as it was for me.
Thank you so much for your prayers and understanding. It is comforting to know I have great friends that will support me every step of the way.
2 comments:
Becky,
I will be praying for you on this adventure. For strength and guidance everyday. I also pray that God will send many others in your path that you will be able to encourage to take the same leap of faith that you have.
Hey becky, I just wanted you to know that I am struggling with the same feeling. We became in debt after we had children and Hogan was soooo sick his whole life. Anyway, it is so encouraging to know that I am not the only one struggling with this issue. I know that God uses the strangest thing to bless and convict you and this is what He has used for me. Thanks for listening to God and the Holy Spirit's prompting and I am going to do the same. I will be praying for you and I ask you to pray for us also.
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